...Southwest Airlines

The concave jet airline tunnels &

light switch bathrooms of Southwest Airlines

Alleyway lights and exit signs flicker. They have a tendency to go out at landings, and whenever the steward decides to go on strike.

Umbrellas are useless against the two-year old's spill as he keeps, throwing ice pellets at passengers who look at him funny.

he waits for his mother to come back from her walk.

A girl in a summer dress has to peel herself off the leather bandaid seat. It's been worn in by slicing knee caps and dragging asses.It sounds like Velcro and sweat as her spray tan cracks.

The clicking clap of a safety latch and the ping of a broken seat belt sign aggravates the one-year-olds in row 12B and C9.

Red jet engines hang on wires in the pearled clouds and cracking eggshell skyline, leaving the passengers land sick for linoleum and fish bowled world.

There is always a life vest under your seat unless the five-year-old on yesterdays flight pulled it out and strolled off the plane in pink plaid and that bright yellow inter-tube. A free floaty for her vacation in Cabo.

That happened last week and I swear the staff thought we would crash. We are not superstitious by any means, but when a kid does that you worry.

So please buckle your seat belts, and don't press the service buttons.

We all need a nap. Welcome to the flight and thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines.